The Tenth Decade: Under the Sun and Heaven's Cyan Sky
XCI
So long ago they seem—my days of youth,
The years of Halcyon, when sky was gold;
Though well I know that feeling’s false—in truth,
I’ve no place to complain—I am not old.
I’m well within the throes of younger days,
I’ve yet to see ten thousand of them pass;
But still as they go by, the more time weighs,
And as I gather more, the less they last.
So here I meditate on time gone by,
The past that I had left so long ago;
Remembered, as ‘twill be, ‘neath golden sky,
That fog of memory so well I know.
Nostalgia I have borne is carried on,
For days that oh so long ago have gone.
XCII
So long ago, I dwelt in smallest vale,
‘Tween hills and cliffs above that boxed it in;
Over that hidden valley, clouds did sail,
‘Neath bluest skies, the sun upon my skin.
Years seemed to stretch forever in that place,
Fine weather just enhanced the sheen of youth;
Out of the valley’s ever-open space,
Retreated I to city’s closéd booth
Despite my current lack of presence there,
Certain I am—my heart has never left;
Along with me I’ve brought it, just to share,
Love of the place—its ev’ry stone and cleft.
I love that dale where first my youth was spent,
From me its mem’ry never will be rent.
XCIII
For so few days I dwelt within the vale,
Though at the time it seemed eternity;
While in my mind the days grew crisp to stale,
I knew not then how fast they flew from me.
Each day could claim a lifetime there, or three,
Depending on what my adventure was;
My careless youth spawned make-believe so free,
Between adventures, there was never pause.
Those seven years that once crept by so slow,
And now seem all too far removed from sight;
I realize these days how quick they go,
And that I can scarce contemplate their flight.
I miss the days of youth now in the past,
And wish I’d known then that they move so fast.
XCIV
And then, one day, the road wound down the hill,
Into the larger valley down below;
As after all, the bells of time did trill,
I left the only home I could then know.
Comfort I could not find then, as I was
Out of the one place I did ever thrive;
Leaving the hills gave me sufficient pause,
Unsure if it was there I would survive.
So suddenly, the future was obscure,
And I could not be certain what would come;
The relocation left me insecure,
In those young days, it was so burdensome.
‘Cause I was leaving ev’rything I knew,
And did not know exactly what to do.
XCV
When in my new location in the vale,
I found no welcome mat rolled out for me;
For I was not from there, but up the trail,
Accepted in the place, I’d never be.
The town was too obsessed with native-born,
With local fam’lies caring for themselves;
While outsiders were left to be forlorn,
Societally fringed to outcast shelves.
And so I found myself out on that edge,
An alien who’d moved in from afar;
Excluded there from any privilege,
Because of hang-ups in the town bizarre.
The people of that valley cast me down,
Because I was not native to their town.
XCVI
I lived for more than ten years in the town,
Despite the fact that I could not fit in;
Here I would get my education down,
And hope to leave there, elsewhere to begin.
Vacations I would try to take, with words,
Each book that I could find, I would consume;
Gone from the world I was, I scarcely heard,
Oft insults of my peers, closed in my room.
New places I’d explore, far from the box,
Each person in the town would cram me in;
All would have kept me under chains and locks,
While I refused to take it on the chin.
All those without confined me in that day,
Yet I ignored them; I’d have gone away.
XCVII
And then, the winds of changes blew anew,
New frontiers I’d explore to finish school;
Dried out there in the old town, time was due,
To leave behind the Valley of the Fool.
Here I began again to ascertain,
Each fact I’d find to quell my appetite;
New thoughts and ideas I would obtain,
Revealed there as my Profs brought them to light.
Each day brought forth new revelation there,
Delighted I was to absorb it all;
Dear friends I made, and I was treated fair,
In daylight hours and then after nightfall.
New places I could finally explore,
Going up north to learn a little more.
XCVIII
Do not mistake my explanation here,
Still far from perfect was the move up north;
I found some with misplaced desire to steer
Direction of my life from then henceforth.
I met those who would soon deflect their guilt,
Projecting it from them out onto me;
And there were some whose cause was nobler-built,
But they the entire picture could not see.
Yet in that place I learned to do my share,
Perhaps with gentle guidance from Above;
I found the Truth was soon exposéd bare,
I laughed and sang and even fell in love.
That city of enlightenment is still
Perched high above the valley on its hill.
XCIX
And then once more to valley I returned,
After the education I received;
I found that, soon thereafter, bridges burned,
And overshadowed all that I’d achieved.
The love that I had found would soon be lost,
The songs and laughter faded into gray;
And I was left alone to note the cost,
And lose myself within the day-to-day.
But then I had to find my own resolve,
To bring myself from out beneath the place;
So as the world continued to revolve,
I turned to words to cancel my disgrace.
So while my ‘journ returned me down the slope,
I managed to maintain my stance of hope.
C
Now here I sit and ponder on the years,
Under the sun and heaven’s cyan sky;
My past is told, the future never clears,
But it will all come to me, by and by.
Each day that’s come and gone is precious, yes,
Regarded not as high as it should be;
One thing I’ve learned is that, and I confess,
How their importance is what I should see.
Unknowing how the future will play out,
Not sure just what the coming years will bring;
Determined I will be to shake my doubt,
Rememb’ring past as newer songs I sing.
Eventful are the days that I’m beyond,
Deferred they are as this new day has dawned.
