Questions from Heaven

We have this image in Christianity of lining up before God, asking Him all the questions that would come to our mind during this life, anything we want to know. For some reason today it occurred to me that the scene might be different, that we might be questioned by God for some of the ridiculous things we've done down here.

Questions from Heaven:

Why would you read My Word as a science book when it is nothing of the sort, and does not even present itself as such? Furthermore, why would you seek to question and damn the work of my servants? Damnation is not your job.

Exactly what was your proof that those 19 people in Salem were witches, anyway?

Didn't I command you to care for the alien at your gates? Or did you miss that part?

Why obsess so much about facts about My Son instead of just doing what he told you, as well as continuing his good work here?

Converting people to Me is a first step, not the whole point. I commanded you to make Disciples, not Converts. When did you decide it was about a body count, rather than about guidance?

I didn't send My Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save it. So why did you spend so much time being judgmental?

Why did you spend so much time in the Psalms, but very little in the Proverbs?

What was all that garbage about the end of the world, anyway? I said My World was Very Good. Why did you spend so little time and effort actually caring for it?

Why were you all so rude to my Chosen People, insulting their faith, misinterpreting their words, twisting their scriptures in your translations, making things fit together that weren't in the text originally?

Why did you think it was good enough to just wait for the Kingdom? Why didn't you feel it was necessary to act?

My Son sacrificed himself to save others. What gave you the right to act so selfishly?

I made it clear that you cannot serve both Me and Mammon. Why did you let it become all about they money you made?

Why did you ignore the second half of the book of Jonah? It's in there for a reason.

What was the reason behind thinking so highly of Job, while fervently denouncing anyone else who had the nerve to question Me? I seem to remember blessing Job, with his doubt and the heinous things he said about me.

Why did you decide to move Daniel from the Writings section to the Prophets section? Kinda missed the point of that book when you did that.

Didn't ANY of you understand Revelation? Your interpretations of it got pretty weird after a while... take it in context, for My sake!

Why did you always shoot someone for choosing to do My Good Work in that country you called America? I'm pretty sure I sent Abe, Jack, Bobby and King for a reason.

Why did you claim to understand Me so well when I'm obviously having trouble understanding what you're all up to?

What part of "turn the other cheek" didn't you understand?

What part of "love your neighbor as yourself" didn't you understand?

What part of "sell all you have and give your money to the poor" didn't you understand?

What part of "it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of Heaven" didn't you understand?

What part of "Blessed are the Poor in Spirit...
"Blessed are Those who Mourn...
"Blessed are the Meek...
"Blessed are Those who Hunger and Thirst for Righteousness...
"Blessed are the Merciful...
"Blessed are the Pure in Heart...
"Blessed are the Peacemakers...
"Blessed are Those who are Persecuted because of Righteousness...

...didn't you understand?